So I'm kind of in this place where I know I'm slipping back..and my ED is gaining more control of my mind once again. Yet no one else has been noticing. Everyone has been looking at my progress of not purging...which I have been doing well with. I made it 59 days without purging. It would've been 60, but I messed up today and ruined that record. Anywho...if they only were able to look into my mind they would see things such as this: 'yea, I stopped purging...only because I hate doing it and it wasn't working fast enough for weight lose...so restriction and exercise has taken it's place since I know they work.' Basically my eating disorder has gone from anorexia to anorexia with bulimic tendencies to bulimia/anorexia(switching on and off) to now...back to anorexia. Along with that comes being able to play the part of 'recovery'...so everyone seems to think that I'm doing GREAT...because I've done so well with not purging. The main reasons I have stopped that though are because of my stupid ED thoughts of how purging isn't helping me one bit in regards to my weight. It may help a bit...but not quickly. So yea...that's my thinking as it stands for now...guess I'm just not sure if I'm happy that I can hide more easily now...or if I'm scared that no one can see as easily anymore